I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
...so i touched it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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