There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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