It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
