How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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