you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
