Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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