You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
