Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
