Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
