My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
