this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
