i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
