you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
