Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
