you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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