I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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