Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
