If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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