The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
