You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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