Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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