another moral hangover. fuck.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
