sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
