i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
