this beer tastes like vomit already
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
