Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
