by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
