i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
