If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
