You're so nebulous sometimes
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
