he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
