We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
