laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
