I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
