life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
