She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
