the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
