I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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