Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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