Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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