idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
