Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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