the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
