So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
