Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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