the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
