no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
