Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
