His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize