I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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