I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
