we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
