I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
