so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
