Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
