pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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