Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
