i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
