So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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