ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
