We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize