I cockslap morals
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
